Georgia has absolutely ZERO intention of appearing in the play. However, they were gearing up for Rom and Jul when she left, and she maybe feels the weensiest bit nostalgic? Not for the tragic plays she was forced into by the fascists at Stalag 14, which as far as she could tell were just bum-oley kissing competitions between Wet Lindsay, Nauseating P. Green and Jas, but it was always a riot backstage with her mates and the Foxwood boys. (She does NOT just mean Dave the Laugh, she hardly thinks about him at all—but it must be said that he is, after all, a laugh!! Is Georgia not supposed to notice? It is quite literally in the name.)
Besides, it would be cruel to deprive the world of her hilariosity and geniosity. So she gets up on stage and delivers the only lines she can remember:
If pants be rough with you, be rough with pants; Prick pants for pricking, and you beat pants down. Give me a case to put my pants in: A pants for my pants! what care I What curious pants doth quote deformities? Here are the beetle pants shall blush for me.¹
It's only too bad she couldn't include Romeo's lines, because when they'd done this scene in rehearsals and Miss Wilson intoned "I am too sore enpierced with his shaft" Rosie had muttered "Oo-er" and made them all fall over laughing like loons on loon tablets. But she does add the other Merc line she'd memorized straight off the bat, which does not need to be changed at all—even ol' Billy Shakes had his moments of comedy genius: "Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a... well, I can't remember all of this bit but it ends with the pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt shaft."
She bows, completely ignoring the cold reading section and continuing, "I will now perform my talent."
She takes out some items she's got from the Mansion now that it's behaving again—a horned Viking hat, earmuffs to go on top, and two little hand paddles—and performs the Viking hornpipe disco inferno extravaganza dance. Viking salute with both paddles pointed at the horns. A cry of "Thor!!" and jump turn to the right. Then paddle paddle paddle to the right, to the left, yell "Thor!!" again and jump turn to the left to repeat. Face forward and high hornpipe skipping eight times. Then a bit of quick one-two paddling to either side while looking for land to the left and right with a concerned expression. Then open eyes wide, yell "LAND AHOYYY!!", fall to knees and throw paddles in the air.
"It's better in a group," she explains as she gets up.
no subject
Besides, it would be cruel to deprive the world of her hilariosity and geniosity. So she gets up on stage and delivers the only lines she can remember:
If pants be rough with you, be rough with pants;
Prick pants for pricking, and you beat pants down.
Give me a case to put my pants in:
A pants for my pants! what care I
What curious pants doth quote deformities?
Here are the beetle pants shall blush for me.¹
It's only too bad she couldn't include Romeo's lines, because when they'd done this scene in rehearsals and Miss Wilson intoned "I am too sore enpierced with his shaft" Rosie had muttered "Oo-er" and made them all fall over laughing like loons on loon tablets. But she does add the other Merc line she'd memorized straight off the bat, which does not need to be changed at all—even ol' Billy Shakes had his moments of comedy genius: "Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a... well, I can't remember all of this bit but it ends with the pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt shaft."
She bows, completely ignoring the cold reading section and continuing, "I will now perform my talent."
She takes out some items she's got from the Mansion now that it's behaving again—a horned Viking hat, earmuffs to go on top, and two little hand paddles—and performs the Viking hornpipe disco inferno extravaganza dance. Viking salute with both paddles pointed at the horns. A cry of "Thor!!" and jump turn to the right. Then paddle paddle paddle to the right, to the left, yell "Thor!!" again and jump turn to the left to repeat. Face forward and high hornpipe skipping eight times. Then a bit of quick one-two paddling to either side while looking for land to the left and right with a concerned expression. Then open eyes wide, yell "LAND AHOYYY!!", fall to knees and throw paddles in the air.
"It's better in a group," she explains as she gets up.
¹Romeo and Juliet, Act I, Scene 4. Approximately.