~ [closed post]

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Now that the Mansion is producing goods again, it's very easy for Susan to compile a picnic basket full of, essentially, the makings of a rather international charcuterie board. Four cheeses (a good British cheddar, a French camembert, an Italian sheeps-milk ricotta, and a wedge of Dutch Leyden), three meats (jamon Iberico from Spain, mortadella with pistachios, and something labeled as an American bison-blueberry salami), along with some honey, fruits and fruit preserves, a baguette, olives, nuts, and crackers. She tops this off with nice linens and silverware and all the necessary ingredients for French 75s. It's definitely more than enough for two people.

Something about the end of that dreadful month has her considering wearing color again. As a first step toward moving past mourning clothes, she experiments with a very flattering deep navy dress that's definitely not black, though it looks it in most lights. She adds a coat of lipstick, and then takes herself and her basket to Janet's room, where she raps lightly on the door.

NSFW!

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[quote_gentle_unquote]

"He's nothing like the Bacchus I remember from Narnia," says Susan, thoughtfully. "I haven't the faintest idea why I got invited. We've barely spoken."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"You had Bacchus in Narnia?" Huh. Fillory had its own gods, but you weren't likely to bump into Zeus on the way to the tavern. "Maybe he just looked at you and couldn't resist. I wouldn't blame him."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"The Bacchus in Narnia was an unsettling wild boy who always traveled with his maenads. He was the only one with a name; the river gods were just river gods. None of them held a candle to Aslan, of course."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Oh, sure, of course." Janet pauses, her fingers tightening around Susan's wrist just a little bit. "Aslan?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh, the great lion. I'm fairly certain he was God."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"God," Janet echoes. She narrows her eyes. "Capital-G God? Monotheistic God?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I haven't been able to think of any other explanation."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Why--" Janet's expression now shifts into a frown, hard and skeptical. "God was a lion in Narnia? Why? Why was Narnia even his business?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Why, Aslan created Narnia, of course," says Susan. "And when Lucy was here..." she trails off.

[sorrowandsorrow]

Oh, sure, of course. But Janet doesn't say it aloud again. She tries to rearrange her face into something a little less obviously disbelieving, a little more welcoming. "When Lucy was here...?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

For a split second, Susan is surprised that they haven't talked about this yet. Then she remembers that being around Janet has always made her want to seem more with-it, more put together, than she's necessarily felt. Rising to the occasion, rather than languishing.

She glances at the skepticism written clearly on Janet's face, and takes a sip of her cocktail. Lightly, she says, "She spoke to me of what it's like in Aslan's true country. Heaven."

[sorrowandsorrow]

This Aslan sounds like the biggest load of bullshit Janet's ever heard. Not that he doesn't exist -- she's learned by now that almost anything can exist, whether you want it to or not, whether it should or not. But, come on, give her a break. Aslan's true country? Heaven? Pull the other one.

"Okay," Janet says carefully, "and what's it like there?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Absolutely bloody horrible, if you ask me," says Susan. Oops, her tone slipped.

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet laughs, surprised and a little -- okay, a lot -- relieved. She drums her fingers lightly against Susan's wrist. "No surprise the stupid eternal kingdom of some dictator god turns out to be horseshit."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I hate it," Susan says, grimly. "Lucy loves it, of course, but then she always had the greatest faith."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Just because some asshole created a world, what, we owe him all our respect?" Janet rolls her eyes. "What's this so-called Heaven like? Cherubs with little harps?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Everything is 'all right' and shall continue being 'all right' forever, so nothing ever changes and no one ever changes and no one cares and there are never any problems to fix," Susan says, mouth tight around the words.

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet's own mouth is tight for a moment at the thought, lips pressed together. She knocks back a slightly less careful sip of her cocktail. "Okay, horrifying," she says in the wake of that. "Not only does that sound like a fucked up 1984 situation on the face of it, it actually sounds designed to be hellish for you specifically."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"It's perfectly dreadful," she agrees. "I'm glad Aslan didn't want me."

[sorrowandsorrow]

It feels like somebody gentler would be better for this conversation, but the only person Janet's got is herself, so fuck it. "He wouldn't have deserved you anyway," she says, fiercely. "These gods are all so fucking careless with their creations."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"What I fail to understand," says Susan, with some slight reluctance - she hadn't meant to ruin the tone of the conversation - is why he decided to give up entirely on Narnia and let it crumble and burn and drown - I believe in that very order - and take my entire family with it. Including Mother and Father, who didn't even know it existed. If he was so dead-set on collecting them all, couldn't he have waited for them to arrive in the natural way?" She's thinking about Edmund again, and how Lucy's description of Aslan's country seems as antithetical to his interests as it is to Susan's own.

[sorrowandsorrow]

They've talked about this before, but they kind of haven't, also. Janet sets down her champagne glass, not with any clear purpose -- just in case she needs both hands, she guesses. I believe I would scream at you if you tried to be gentle. Hopefully that's still true, now. "There might not be anything to understand," she says. "Gods have whims, and they don't think about the people whose lives are getting washed away with them. It's -- bullshit." That's not a strong enough indictment, honestly.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I rather agree," she says, fiercely.

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet laughs, almost. She's gripping Susan's wrist tighter now; when she notices, she slides that hand down to lace their fingers together instead. "I don't have anything to make it better. Sorry. But I can tell you that you're right to hate it."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan leans her head against Janet's shoulder for a brief moment. "You needn't do anything," she says, and twists her neck to drop a kiss to Janet's arm.