@ [closed post]

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan has been having the dreams with greater frequency, lately¹: Narnia ablaze as the dying stars sink into the sea, giant lizards and dragons ripping every tree and rock from the earth and rending the last of Cair Paravel's ruins into so much rubble, laying all that devastation onto the blaze and then dying themselves as the mountains crumble and the seas rise and leave nothing behind but an empty, starless black.

Nothing, that is, save an open door, and her family standing before it, watching the devastation, and then the door swinging shut.

I've been doing better she tells herself firmly, rising from her bed before the sun has even started to think about peeking over the horizon. The waning moon is hanging low in the sky; the waxing one has already set. She turns on all her lights against the lingering dark and watches them blaze merrily in her vision until she has to glance away, dark spots dancing in their aftermath. She still feels cold as a lifeless, dark world, but at least there's no denying that she isn't in one.

Then, even more firmly, she makes herself get up. She dresses warmly - those thick woolen stockings that join up at the waist (she has since learned they are called tights; the Mansion has been supplying ones lined in a thick, fuzzy material remarkably suitable for winter), a dress similarly appropriate for winter, her woolen coat and leather gloves. Her hair she braids down, not up, so that it's easier to wear a hat against the chill that is resting both deep in her chest and sharp in the morning air outside.

She grabs her longbow and her quiver in addition to the latest of her pile of books - it's good to have contingency plans - but instead of heading toward the range or the woods to seek out a place to sport with Little John, she goes to where she knows Lancelot practices in the morning, stopping only to fill a thermos up with tea. It is, she thinks high time to make good on her threat to watch him.


¹Thanks, Aornis!

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

He sways back a bit to rebalance them, shifting his hand up her back as if to steady her. He murmurs against her mouth, "Easy."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She shudders briefly against him as a chill runs through her and then fades away, then pulls back, blinking up at him. "You're so... so solid," she murmurs.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot laughs a little, very softly, "I should hope so. I don't want to have done all that work for nothing."

This time he doesn't bother to stifle himself; he lets himself brush back a few strands of her hair, brush his fingertips down the side of her face. He gazes intently at her, with that expression he sometimes gets, all warmth and affection.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan meant this both literally and metaphorically. She meets his gaze and, not looking away, catches his hand in hers and presses a kiss to his fingertips.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He does flush a little at this, but holds her gaze. (Perhaps he realizes, belatedly, that she did intend both meanings.) Looking at her, several emotions well up at once within him and he does his best to let them pass without saying too much; he just wants to be present for her.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan has an emotion or two of her own, but she has a lot of other stuff still swirling around in there and doesn't cling to those emotions long enough to really try and interpret them. She kisses his hand again, and then leans in to kiss his cheek, and then gives herself a firm mental shake, trying to figuratively air herself out. "Right," she says, somewhat more even-keeled.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot smiles at her, squeezes her shoulder, "A little better?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She gives him a funny sort of look, and then pulls back enough that she can unhook her bow and set it to the side. "A little," she says, pressing a quick kiss to his lips this time. "My thanks." She clears her throat, and then sets one hand at his waist. "You were telling me some rubbish about being inept at romance?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

He laughs, glancing away a little, "Aye, well, in certain circumstances. There have been others where I excelled."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Men are jolly simple, actually," Susan says, this time successfully accessing her businesslike tone. It's counteracted, somewhat, by her taking one of his hands in her free one and tangling their fingers together. "I'm sure you'll find your footing soon."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Oh, aye, perhaps," giving her hand a little squeeze. "It is strange, though. I never expected to-- well. Any of this, obviously, but needing to understand how any of this works."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"You needn't, of course, if you would rather set it aside," Susan says, though she suspects Lancelot might rather prefer learning that side of himself. She certainly would, if she was newly admitting to it¹.


¹lol

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I appreciate a challenge," mildly. "Besides, thou'rt among the surprises, and thou hast been a great good to me."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Flattery, again?" Susan squeezes his hand. "Incorrigible."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"And so I shall remain."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Then I suppose I shall have to grow used to it," Susan says, very bravely not looking away as she says it.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He grins at her, a little more challenging than usual, "I should certainly hope so."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan feels caught in that smile, for the briefest and queerest of moments. Then she shakes herself again, and tucks herself against his side. "You surprise me, sometimes," she admits.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Is that so?" Another quick, smiling glance down, "How so?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Your affection for compliments, for one," she says. "Both the giving and the receiving of them."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He laughs, "Ach, I should have tried to keep it from thee."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Yes, once I know all your secrets you will be ill-equipped to withstand me," Susan says, and then: "You're more playful, too, than I would have expected."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He casts her another warm smile, "I think-- I think I wasn't much, before. For a very long time. And then only with the few who were closest. Things feel freer, now, and I have more people I trust."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I'm pleased to hear it."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I am glad I surprise thee," sounding very pleased.