"Yes," Susan breathes. With her other hand in a closed fist, she touches her chest. "I was like that for two months. I got through those months because I wanted to live for them. Then it was like there was a great tangled - oh, vine, I suppose - at the heart of me that held all my emotions, and it iced over so solidly I could feel nothing but cold and the sharp cut of the ice for three months more. Then I started to thaw, and now I suppose I'm angry all the time. Each day is a little better, a little easier to bear, but it's such a small change that I only notice it when I look all the way back and know how much worse it was. And sometimes when I'm happy it's followed by such guilt..." she trails off. "There's no easy way to bear it. I only know what made it worse."